My Voice.

iTunes Selection: "Here" -Jackson Browne.

We all have an inner voice, we all have our way of speaking, we all have that inner part of you that speaks out and talks for you. It speaks when you are trying to say something and takes over and starts speaking.

I found that voice when i spoke at my father's funeral. I said some things I hadn't had the opportunity to say before.

At my father's Service I told how I had found my voice. When I stand up at work and make a speech, give a command, or give that two minute class I've heard myself, and for that second I hear something I've heard before, my father.

I was uncomfortable with my father for the longest time, he and my mother had a terrible relationship. Learning from their example I endeavored to have a similarly disastrous marriage that ended in divorce.

But, my favorite word(but), I realized my mistake, too late for the first time. I endeavor now to have a functional marriage, and learn from my earlier mistakes.

I don't drink to excess anymore, in fact I normally have a beer or two and I'm good.

I stop myself from arguing, and listen, no matter how angry I am.

I don't run away from the argument and hide and do something else (still working on this one)

I realize when I'm wrong.

I still spend money without thinking, but I am working at realizing when I do it.

And in the end, if I ever feel like I need a good talking to, I just open my mouth...

And hear my father's lecture...

Why Dale Earnhardt Jr. Sucks!

iTunes selection: "Let it Die" Foo Fighters.

Have you ever read David Poole's Blog Life in the Turn Lane ? Well if you haven't I strongly suggest you do. David Poole pasted away about 6 months ago but most of his blog is still on here.

I used to listen to him on Sirius satellite radio's Nascar station on his show the "Morning Drive." He was funny, country, and had some incredible in-site about motor sports and Nascar in particular. Over the short 2 years I listened to him on Satellite radio I had to admit he knew way more about the sport than I will ever know. I did pick up enough to baffle my wonderful wife that turned me on to the sport, to her dismay of course.

I was left with one idea, no I am not throwing the poor man under the bus, he's already dead, but the one idea I got from paying attention to my morning drive was that Dale Earnhardt Jr. is never going to be the driver his father was, no insult, no injury to him as a fine driver. I know I just committed blasfamy, but bear with me.

Dale Jr., as he is known to most of the Nascar fans, is the living embodiment of what the sport was, is, should be and will be. He has the spirit of his father riding shotgun in the car next to him and because of that he will never push the envelop and excel the way his father did for so long.

I'm not calling Dale Jr. a failure, far from it, he's an inspiration to us all; he raced on after his father died, left his step-mothers failing business and went out on his own with a huge company, and has continued to fight the good fight every Sunday since then.

But, yes i had to use but, Dale Jr. is not his father. His father lived on being the bad guy, the man in black. He wanted the crowd to think he was a "bad-ass" and do what ever it took to win. No, I don't think he was a bad guy, but he had the desire to win. The desire that most of us mere mortals don't have in a race car traveling 190mph around a track pushed by G-forces into the corner of your seat just hoping you don't fly off into oblivion if one guy in front of you makes the wrong move and ends up side ways in the blink of an eye.

But, yes I'm using it again, we as mere mortals don't all have the reflexes, hand eye coordination, patience, and nerves of steal to be racing, that's why its watched on TV and not performed in your back yard. Dale Sr. was a champion, and as Dale Jr's team mate Jimmy Johnson can atest to it. Its about going out every day and working hard every single work day. Jimmy's on his way to a 4th uncontested Sprint Cup Championship. And in every interview they ask him, how are you able to do this? What is your secret? Are you taking something, is your crew putting something, are you saying your prayers to someone special? No, he does the same thing every day, every race, he listens to his crew chief, communicates his car status, and drives the car to just short of the breaking point Every race. He doesn't just show up for one race and toss off the next, every race he trains, learns, and does his part with the crew.

Dale Jr might have been Jimmy Johnson, maybe will be, but for the time being is going to be the shadow his father once was and will continue to be that way till he either grows up and admits he needs to be watching what his team mate is doing, or sheds that ghost.

As David Poole used to say, "...just another day fighting the foo..."