Saturday, May 2, 2009

You'll Never Make a Saint of Me...


You'll Never Make a Saint of Me...(still not happy with the way I ended this story)


iTunes suggest listening: "Saint of Me" -Rolling Stones

"So are you a good catholic?" the priest asked me.

"er, ah" what do I say to this one?

"My commander say's if you go to mass more than twice a year than your a good catholic." the priest said with a smile.

"Well than I'm good on that one!" I'd been to mass more than I'd been since I was in catholic school in middle school. I'd been every Sunday morning since I started coming back to church for just about every event I could come to, service, mass, bible study, heck even cigar night with the chaplain.

"So are you married" as he looked at my ring finger.

"Ah, yes, 6 months."

"Is your wife apart of the church?" he said as he leaned forward.

"Ah, no, we, ah both kinda grew up around it but we haven't really been apart of our local church." I was starting to fidget.

"Did you get married in the church?" He kept on going with more and more questions...

I figured it was time to 'fess up and give him something to go on. "no, this is my second marriage, my first didn't work out." I sat a little straighter in the wooded pew. "I just started coming back, i realized I needed a little help."

A little help. I could hear the Rolling Stones song in my head...

"I said yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah
You'll never make a saint of me
Oh yeah, oh yeah

You'll never make a saint of me"


A couple of months earlier I'd been walking around one day, distraught and worried about something at work.

"John the Baptist was a martyr
But he stirred up Herod's hate

And Salome got her wish

To have him served up on a plate
"

I found myself in front of the chapel and I walked in. Normally, I thought, they had the schedule posted for Sunday services. I figured I'd walk in and look around. I walked into find a small Tupperware tub with a note on it, "Holy Water."

I dipped my finger into it and made the sign of the cross and mumbled 'in the name of the father, son and holy ghost.'

Just then two people came out of the side room, "oh look, someone else is here!" I was like ah, yeah.

They asked me, "how long has it been since you've been to mass?"

I took a second and looked up and right, "Ah, three years or so, when my dad died?"
It wasn't the answer he was looking for, but he was excited to have someone else attending and went about preparing for his mini service.

"And I do believe in miracles
And I want to save my soul

And I know that I'm a sinner

I'm gonna die here in the cold
"

I was sitting in a classroom with the priest. "Were you baptized in the church?"

"I don't believe so, I was baptized in the Baptist church in high school."

"And why do you want to be a Catholic?" His accent made the word Catholic sound final.

"I realized I liked the form. I went to mass as a kid and i was always amazed by the whole procession. It gives me that ahh inspired feeling." I wasn't sure what to say, no one had actually asked me that before. I'd asked a couple other people at bible study, most had just responded with, 'well that's what i did when i was a kid.'

I guess somewhere or another we were all inspired, maybe it was the formality, maybe it was the singing, or maybe it was just a magical feeling.

Saint Paul the persecutor
Was a cruel and sinful man

Jesus hit him with a blinding light
And then his life began

"So tell me about yourself" This felt like a job interview.

I'd asked if the priest had had time while he was visiting us after mass one day. During our extremely small mass, about 4 of us, he had walked up to everyone to offer them communion and I had said no thank you.

He'd didn't say anything but he had a strange look on his face for a minute and I decided I needed to talk to him.

"I wanted to ask you Father, how I could become part of the church?" I put my elbows up on the table and moved forward. "I have not been apart of the church, officially, i went to catholic school briefly in middle school, but i don't believe i was baptized until i went to Baptist church in high school."

"And why do you want to be part of the church, what has changed for you?"

"I realized I needed some help." I took a deep breath in and began my story. I'd been married before, it hadn't worked out, but I had made myself a promise I was going to do the right thing this time and I loved my wife way too much to let this marriage fail.

You'll never make a saint of me
You'll never make a saint of me

"Is your ex-wife apart of the church?" He was a good listener.

"Ah, yes, i think, i know we went to church together along time ago when we were in Afghan, it might have been when we were the strongest together." As I tried to remember how long ago that had been, 6 years?

I remembered when I got to Afghan she had told me, "I've been going to church again, they have my faith here." I kinda thought it was funny, the army had a Wicken service?

She slugged me in the arm and said, "Catholic, stupid!"

"And could you stand the torture
And could you stand the pain


"Are you still talking to your ex-wife?" This was a hard question for me.

"Ah, no, we kinda had it out." I really didn't want to open up that much but I was on the road to redemption.

"Your going to have to get your marriage certificate, divorce certificate, and her baptism certificate, we'll submit it and then the church can annul your marriage. It'll take about 3 months, at which point you can be confirmed."

Ah, a quest, my own personal quest to get confirmed, should be interesting...

I said yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah
You'll never make a saint of me
Oh yeah, oh yeah


A couple of days later I did write my ex-wife and asked for her help in this matter. Not to take the words out of context but her response was, "you can burn in hell for all i care..."

Could you put your faith in Jesus
When you're burning in the flames


Oh yeah, oh yeah
You'll never make a saint of me
"